Kim Kardashian: Divorce led to 'deep depression'

By Us Weekly

David Becker / Getty Images

Kim Kardashian is a changed woman.

Speaking in-depth with Oprah Winfrey on Sunday about her failed 72-day marriage to NBA star Kris Humphries, the?"Keeping Up With the Kardashians" reality titan admits she sank into a "deep depression" after filing for divorce on Halloween 2011 ? and chalks her split up to a learning experience.

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"I've obviously made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime, but I'm not the type to sit and beat myself up over it," Kardashian, 31, told Winfrey during "Oprah's Next Chapter." "If a real lesson was learned, I'm so okay with having experienced that."

Replied Winfrey, 51, reveling in Kardashian's aha moment: "That is so perfect I could weep."

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Taking four months off to spend time with her family away from the spotlight after her split was a risk Kardashian knew she had to make ??and the decision to do so was not made lightly. "I was in such a deep depression I thought I was going to back away from it all," she revealed, referring to the family's mega-smash E! reality shows and other business ventures. "You know when you just have that feeling that he's the one? When we moved in I had the feeling he was not the one."

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Touching on her other past romances, Kardashian admitted making a sex tape with her ex Ray J ??which was leaked to the public in 2007 ??was one of her biggest regrets. Still, the reality star says coping with that scandal gave her strength.

After the tape's release, Kardashian "felt like I had to work 10 times harder to get people to see the real me," she told Winfrey. "I humiliated my family and that's something I'm going to live with and explain that to my children."

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"I'm not grateful [for the tape's release], but if I could live my life again ? if I knew better?? I would do better," she said, borrowing a phrase from Maya Angelou.

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"I feel like I've had an epiphany over the last year. Where I am now, my life is not all about me," she admitted. "The fans who watch the show get our personalities, but because of the divorce, this platform has been given to these haters?but [their chatter] doesn't affect me like it used to. I'm totally growing up."

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