The Balance Scale of Wellness

Recently I had coffee with a friend who just returned fromAfricawhere he went on safari, among other pursuits, and toured the villages that line the roadways in that mostly depressed continent. He was duly impressed by both the poverty of the citizens and the happy mood most displayed when encountered. When he returned home, he said he looked around at what he had in his very comfortably furnished home and wondered aloud about why he needed all he saw. That was more than just an observation, it was a profound declaration. And it made me realize that wellness is more than just what we have that makes us happy. It?s also what we don?t have, or better yet, what we shouldn?t have that is at least as important.

It is an axiom in our society that most people spend in proportion to their income. Happy at $50,000 per year, most feel the need to increase their spending when their income reaches $100,000 per year. That begs the question, what additional purchases have been made that incrementally increase happiness and wellbeing. If we are happy at one level of income, why do we feel the need to spend twice as much when our income doubles? Often it is about keeping up with the Joneses. Or succumbing to the pressures of our children who now want Michael Jordan sneakers at $150 a pair, when earlier, a $25 pair sufficed. This phenomenon isn?t only found in the middle or upper middle class. One need not venture far to see even poor people wearing such outrageous garments when a celebrity attaches their name to the cloth or the shoe. Or consider the diamond ring so expensive it cannot be worn safely in public and instead resides in a safe-deposit box in the local bank. Do we need another, and more expensive, coffee table in the living room? Or a more expensive bed cover with lace borders rather than just plain borders? Or a swimming pool that really doesn?t increase the value of our home much at all? Maybe we think we?re doing it for the children?s future.

Most of us surely want more for our children than we had but is that good for them? Are we becoming a parental set of enablers that teach our children to shop for the most expensive even when we know we, and later on they, cannot afford it? The credit card companies bear an element of responsibility in all this. But that?s another issue. For us, the important idea is balancing what we have with what we shouldn?t have regardless of whether we can afford it or whether we sacrifice to achieve it.

The most obvious financial question becomes what should we do with the excess money if we don?t spend it on increasing satisfaction with increasing income? I wonder if a savings account ever crossed the mind of those whose income just increased. Saving for a time when unemployment rears its ugly head, or saving for disasters in the family over and above that covered by insurance seem a reasonable use of excess funds. Happiness and wellbeing are about enjoying our life with what we have, not with what we can afford.

We are constantly bombarded by advertising to entice us to buy things we heretofore have easily done without. Electronics have led the way. Do we really need an iPhone, iPad, iPod, Android, Blackberry, blueberry, strawberry, or any of the other berries now on, or likely to be on, the market? Some of them increase our security and that of our children and those definitely increase our wellbeing by reducing our anxiety for their safety. But the rest? Not likely.

The balance scale of wellness goes much further than just purchases. It encompasses attitudes, beliefs, arguments, tensions, conflicts, relationships, affairs, feelings. Most of us carry some baggage with us that should have been discarded long ago. And with baggage come tension, and worry, and often deceit. When confronted with issues that have remained hidden for long periods, most people agree that brought out in the open means a release from internal conflicts that have plagued them for decades.

A personal review of those concepts we might have within ourselves will likely determine what we keep and what we should do without. Harboring grudges long beyond their immediate value gain us nothing. Tensions hidden need to be open to the light of reason and then dismissed. There are a myriad of personal issues that fall on the side of the wellness scale requiring riddance forever. Relationships, particularly within families, need mending before death makes them moot. It is likely most of us have looked within ourselves and determined that many issues we harbor should be resolved and gotten rid of. But making it a more formal plan by treating wellness as much of what we shouldn?t have as well as what we ought to have makes resolving them so much easier. While you are creating a wellness atmosphere within your home and yourself, make a list of those wellness issues that you should do without, just as you would for those physical purchases you shouldn?t have made. Make it a sort of spring house cleaning of the mind, the body, our surroundings, our relationships, our fears, our transgressions, even our beliefs.

The balance scale of wellness can enhance one?s feeling of wellbeing. While the Scale of Justice is blind, our Wellness Scale should be out in the open, reviewed regularly, given brutally honest treatment, and maintained in a delicate balance. In our search for wellbeing what we shouldn?t have is as important and relevant as what we should have.

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Source: http://wholelifewellbeing.com/2012/09/the-balance-scale-of-wellness/

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